Thursday, December 11, 2008

Sardars In ScotlandYard

A policeman in Scotlandyard was interrogating 3 SARDARS who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first SARDAR a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?", he asks the first SARDAR. The SARDAR answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he has only one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second SARDAR and asks him the same question. The second SARDAR smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Ofcourse only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third SARDAR and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The SARDAR looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?

"That's easy," the SARDAR replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."


Saturday, December 06, 2008

Gr8 Timing............ Perfect Shot.


Plane On Electricity Lines

Keys To Happiness.................

The Best Way To Survive The Day At Office

When The Giant Becomes Tiny..........................

Escape........ Escape.............

Malayaaleeeeeeee Spiderman............

An Example Of A Bollywood Fan's Love Letter To A Girl

Johnny Mera Naam
Piya Ka Ghar
Choukee No. 11
Teesri Manzil
China Town, Bombay

Date: Nav Do Gyarah

My Dear 'Anamica'

You must be surprised to receive this 'Prem Patra' from me. Let me make my 'Pahechan' to you as 'Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge'. Though I am an 'Awaara', I am also your 'Deewana'.

I am making you a 'Prarthna' to enter my 'Zindagi' as a 'Priyatama'. Even though I do not have any 'Sambandh' with you, I still consider you as my 'Dream Girl' with 'Lal Dupatta Malmal Ka'. There are only 'Do Raaste' left for me. One is to get your love by 'Tyag' or to go the 'Rangeela' way.

Wouldn't you like to be 'Mere Jeevan Saathi' as you are 'Lakhon Mein Ek'? I also hope that you will 'Guide' me in 'Bahar' as we are made for 'Ek Duje Ke Liye'.

We will live in 'Naya Zamana' where we will have a 'Suhana Safar'. In this 'Himalay Ki God Mein', our 'Bandhan' is going to be tied with 'Preet Ki Dor'. I hope that we will have nothing but 'Anand' in 'Ye Dillagi'.

Aren't you bored of 'Akele Hum Akele Tum' life? Let this 'Baazigar' be your 'Boy Friend' and we start 'Pehli Mohabbat'. This 'Chahat' is going to lead to a 'Milan' where you are going to call me everyday for 'Aao Pyar Karen'.

Now, 'Phir Kab Miloge' as 'Tumse Accha Kaun Hein'? As you know my love is 'Himalay Se Uncha' and hopefully our 'Mulakat' will be 'An Evening in Paris'. 'Aa Gale Lag Jaa'!

'Hum Aapke Hain Koun...?'
'Prem Pujari.'

Slogans n Captions Seen Only In India

1. Caption on a railway station at Patna:
Aana free, jaana free
pakde gaye to khana free.

2. Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!

3. Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative
More the success, more the relatives.

4. Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
We need your heads to run our business.

5. A traffic slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they
never will be.....

Think Twice B4 U Marry A Girl from S/W Field, Bcoz..............

Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U .
Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a C girl as she always have a tendency to BREAK the things n EXIT from house.
Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a UNIX girl, she always dump u with a core.
Never marry a PASCAL girl, she always scolds u as rascal.
Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.
So the bottom line is 'better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY."

Funny Interview

Officer : What is your name ?
Candidate : M p. Sir
Officer : Tell me properly
Candidate : Mohan pal sir
Officer : Your father's name ?
Candidate : M p. Sir
Officer : What does that mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan pal sir
Officer : Your native place
Candidate : M p. Sir
Officer : Is it madhya pradesh ?
Candidate : No, munnur pal sir
Officer : What is your qualification?
Candidate : M p. Sir
Officer : (angrily) what is it ?
Candidate : Matric pass
Officer : Why do you need a job ?
Candidate : M p. Sir
Officer : And what does that mean ?
Candidate : Money problem sir
Officer : Describe your personality
Candidate : M p. Sir
Officer : Explain yourself clearly
Candidate : Magnanimous personality sir
Officer : This discussion is nowhere, you may go now
Candidate : M p. Sir
Officer : What is it now
Candidate : My performance. ...?
Officer : Mp !!!
Candidate : What is that sir..?
Officer : Mentally punctured... ......... .....!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Bruce Lee In India ................

1) What is Bruce Lee's favorite vegetable?
Ans: Mu Lee (Muli)

2) What does Bruce Lee like to have for lunch?
Ans: Tha Lee (Thali)

3) What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie
is over ?
Ans: Kha Lee (Khali - Empty)

4) What is Bruce Lee's sister-in-law's name?
Ans: Saa Lee (Saali)

5) Bruce Lee's favorite breakfast?
Ans: Id Lee

6) Bruce Lee's favourite festival
Ans: Diwa Lee

7) Bruce Lee's favorite Actress
Ans: Sona lee (Sonali)

Bruce Lee's favorite Music
Ans: Qawa lee (Qawali)

9) What is Bruce Lee's most interesting job?
Ans: Coo Lee (Cooli)

10) When did Bruce Lee die?
Ans: Final Lee (Finally)

11) How did Bruce Lee die?
Ans: with a Go Lee (Goli - Bullet)

12) What is Bruce Lee's favorite hill station
Ans: Kulu Mana Lee

13)What is Bruce Lee's nick name?
Ans: Mawa Lee

14)What is Bruce Lee's favorite Hindi movie?
Ans: Gharwa LEE Baharwa LEE (Gharwaali Baharwaali)

15)Who is Bruce Lee's favourite cricketer?
Ans: Saurav Gangu Lee

Funny Telephone Conversations From Help Desks

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
===============================================================
Helpdesk: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left ?

=====================================================================
Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...............!!
===============================================================

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.
===============================================================
A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?
Customer: Five stars.
===============================================================
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============================================================
Helpdesk: How may I help you ?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it


One Of The Most Pleasing Sights To Our Eyes

Monday, December 01, 2008

Sardarji Jokes Continues..........

One day an interviewer asks Saradar.
Interviewer: "Imagine that u r in the fourth floor of a building and it suddenly caught fire... What will u do????"
Sardar: "I will stop my imagination..."

A donkey kicked santa & ran away.
Santa ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said, "Saala Tracksuit pehan ke dhoka de raha hai".

Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ''Beautiful Red Underware'' .
Teacher: What? Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chadda.

During a war sardar's assistant said,
Assit: "Sir, we are surrounded by enemies...."
Sardar replied: "Good so we can shoot in any direction........"

A sardar and a doctor loved a same girl................. Every day Sardar gave her an Apple... One day the girl asked to him..........
Girl: "Why r u giving me Apple everyday???"
Saradr: "Because an Apple a day keeps a doctor away............" .

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.

A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body. "This guy was an Englishman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector", says the mortuary chief. The DI nods understandingly and is taken to the second dead man.

"This was an American, 25, won 124 million dollars in the PowerBall, spent it all on booze. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the contented smile." "Nothing unusual here", thinks the DI, and asks to be shown the last body.

"Ah," says the chief, "This is the most unusual one, a Sardar, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken," replies the chief.


Are you Relax Sing??

One Sardar was enjoying the sun on a beach in America. A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?" Sardar answered, "No, I am Banta Singh".

Another guy came and asked the same question. Sardar answered, "No No, Me Banta Singh".

A third person came and asked the same question. The Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying himself. He went and asked him, "Are you Relax Singh (Relaxing)?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered, "Yes I am relaxing".

The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan aaram Kar raha hai."

Exams 'n' Cricket: a comparison

Exams are like cricket match.
Examination hall is the field.
Teacher is the umpire.
Question paper is the opposite team.
Answer sheet is the pitch.
Correct answers are the runs.
No. Of questions is the target.
Pen is the bat.
Wrong answer is out.
Time out is no ball.

Submiting answer sheet is result of match!

Pakistani on the Moon


Q: What do you call 1
Pakistani on the moon?

A: Problem...
Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem...
Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?

A: ....... Problem Solved!!!

An Hour Before 9/11

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th September 2001

Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..

Bush: What buildings? What people??

Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?

Bush: It's eight in the morning.

Musharraf: Oops... I will call back in an hour!!!

India Shining??




How does development in technology affect us?